Michael Jackson’s Generosity and Love
Among the many accomplishments by Michael Jackson, none was more extraordinary than his support of historically black colleges and the opportunities he afforded disadvantaged youngsters who received a college education through his generosity.
Despite his limited academic achievements, and well into the ’90s — through benefit concerts and other activities — Jackson donated millions to the United Negro College Fund and founded the Michael Jackson Scholars program.
In 1988, at a sold-out dinner in NYC benefitting UNCF, he received an honorary doctorate from Fisk University. The event was attended by his close friends: Hollywood luminaries like Liz Taylor, Liza Minnelli, Quincy Jones and Don Cornelius (creator of “Soul Train”), Whitney Houston, Lionel Richie, and Gregory Peck also were part of the celebration, along with captains of industry like Edgar Bronfman, Jr., Clive Davis, and Walter Yetnikoff and more.
Jackson later inspired his sister, Janet, to follow in his footsteps by creating The Rhythm Nation Scholars.
This is a sad, sad day!!! For a humanitarian with such a big heart to lead a rumor-filled existence and to leave this place so tragically is more unsettling than I can find words to express.
Let’s just say: Many are fortunate that Michael and Janet shared the view that “a mind is a terrible thing to waste.” They’ve done a lot to “Heal the World!”
–Adrienne Rhodes, a former publicist for the United Negro College Fund
Good Stress, Bad Stress
positive emotion. It can equal production, causing workers to meet
deadlines, find new leads and clients, and drive sales. Over the last
30 years, thanks to technology, our work has become even easier to do
with our gadgets, software and ’round-the-clock access to information.
pressure, making it almost impossible to work productively. Many family
and home life stressors can affect your performance dramatically. Large
scale stressors can include: home foreclosure; a child not succeeding
in school; a relative with a substance abuse problem; divorce or
separation; caring for an elderly, sick or disabled relative; natural
disasters; death in the family; or even giving birth.
the root of stress is the job itself. Studies conducted by the National
Institute for Occupational Safety and Health show ongoing stress
ultimately leads to chronic health problems, such as cardiovascular
disease, muscular conditions and psychological disorders. It can cost
you your health and employers billions annually as they try to pick up
the pieces from constant absenteeism, instability and high turnovers.
workplace,” says Harrison Allen III, a human resources and employee
relations expert in Seattle, with more than 30 years of experience.
“These stressors include co-worker challenges, work environment,
compensation issues, discrimination, even supervisors.”
manage stress may be right under their noses. Many large corporations
and organizations in the United States offer comprehensive Employee
Assistance Programs (EAPs). Usually within these EAPs are sub-programs
for stress management and stress reduction.
are primarily established to assist20employees to stay healthy, both
physically and mentally,” Allen says. “Many organizations recognize
that stress can have a detrimental effect on employee productivity.
Progressive organizations understand the value of having effective
assistance programs because it has been proved repeatedly that healthy
employees are more productive. The better programs assist employees to
make healthy lifestyle changes by providing programs such as exercise,
diet, information, one-on-one counseling and substance abuse.”
- psychotherapy
- hypnosis for smoking cessation
- Kundalini yoga
- grief counseling
- mental health assessment and referrals
- exercise classes
- massage therapy
- seminars, workshops and classes on relaxation, time management and personal budgeting
staff members trained to teach stress reduction. These staffers will be
able to show employees there are many simple things they can do to
reduce stress on the job:
- Be more proactive. Learn how to communicate effectively with
your co-workers, managers and supervisors, even if it means standing up
for yourself. - Get up, get out. When stress begins to build, sometimes leaving
the scene can do a world of good. Getting fresh air and going for a
walk, taking a few minutes for meditation, even listening to soothing
music are quick and simple stress reducers. - Laugh. This is always the best medicine and a great way to
reduce stress. A joke, a funny story or silly picture can always put a
smile on your face and may even get a chuckle or two.
First Dance Goes to My Father
Everyone who has spent any considerable time with me has heard me
say it: “I love my daddy!” Not dad, but daddy, and that is how I refer
to him, even though I’m nearly 30. Every year Mother’s Day comes around
and you can’t escape the “love your mom” blitz. I can’t say ditto every
third Sunday in June, but that doesn’t mean I don’t celebrate Daddy
every chance I get.
As a child, I thought every girl had a similar relationship with her
dad as I did with mine. A few years and a thousand conversations later,
and I realized this isn’t the case. Instead, what I heard are tales of
absent fathers or unhealthy relationships between fathers and
daughters. Through most of these stories, even when a strong bond
existed with their mothers, I still heard a yearning for that healthy
connection with their dads.
fathers are comparable to mine. They, like me, intertwine dad into
their conversations, reflecting on him as friend, adviser, biggest fan,
sincerest critic, voice of reason, source of confidence, therapist
sharing certain things with mom. Although Mom and I are now best
friends, it wasn’t so when I was growing up. Dad got to hear all of
those things I probably should have spared him. One hot summer
afternoon a girlfriend came by so we could go swimming. I calmly
announced to my father, “I can’t go swimming because I’m on my period,
and I don’t think it’s a good idea to have all that red in the pool.
But we can do something else.” Without flinching, my dad said, “Oh,
okay.” The only person uncomfortable with that exchange was my
girlfriend. The second we walked out of the living room, she asked,
“How the hell could you say that in front of your dad? Weren’t you
embarrassed?” She definitely didn’t understand our bond.
share, and we’ve had quite a few, many of them set against the backdrop
of a long walk.
He didn’t exactly tell me what to look for in a guy. In fact, he
highlighted a few of his own shortcomings, which, in essence, told me
what to avoid. Actually, what it subconsciously led to is the
foundational recipe for relationships, and this is what I’ve shared
with the men who have come into my life: love God, love yourself and
without question, you’ve got to learn to love me exactly the way I am
while desiring me to be the best version of me as I would of you.
her. She’s always my choice to have a drink with, and I wouldn’t trade
that for the world. But Daddy brings a different type of fun. The two
of us can stay in the house all day working and know we haven’t missed
a thing from the outside world. These are the moments that he takes my
already bound master’s thesis and doctoral dissertation and marks them
up with edits. It’s the moment that he sees a rough draft for a
research article I am working on and he queries me extensively on how I
conducted my focus groups. It’s the occasions he turns to me and we
discuss politics, sports or even entertainment.
of these discussions. “Based on what you see on television, I wouldn’t
want that kind of limelight.”
social life! You’ve got to want to share all of this with someone. You
are a catch!”
depending on the day. And for every creative, out-of-the-box, emotional
and crazy moment, idea or venture I’ve had, my biggest fan has been my
dad. He is rooting for me, win or lose. I have le
arned about being a well grounded, giving person from Dad. Our
relationship has taught me how to treat people. It has fed me
spiritually and emotionally.
halves should become one, that first dance goes to my father. Without
him, I would not be the person you desire.
Traveling in Pairs
vacation:
always better,” says travel expert Michael Andre Adams, who advises
limiting the number of people traveling. It also pays to choose your
friends wisely. If you have trouble spending one afternoon with
someone, don’t take her on a one-week cruise.
cap it at two to one bathroom,” Adams warns. Fighting for bathroom time
can bring out the diva in the sweetest darling.
arrangements, who showers first, what activities to do and how to divvy
up the bills. Ironing out the fine details before you leave will help
keep confusion and anxiety at bay.
meant you have to spend every second together. In fact you shouldn’t.
Bring a book, take a nap, exercise–do something alone.
vacation, but be realistic and know there may be blips along the way.
Be prepared to be the bigger person and let little things go.
–Lorraine
Sanabria Robertson
Nothing to It
health and well-being are a priority on your to-do list, take an
authorized timeout and temporarily dismiss your multitasking genie.
and professional lives get more complex, it becomes more important to
schedule time for doing absolutely nothing, even if just for five or 15
minutes a day.
Whether a study or the backyard, choose a place where you can easily
just be–and be most comfortable. Next, breathe deeply. It is a simple
technique that is critical to supplying the body and organs with oxygen
while helping get rid of toxins. Try prayer or meditation to de-stress
in the middle of a hectic day. At home, make use of the bathtub and set
up a mini spa. Drop in a fragrant bath bomb to enhance the experience.
Lastly, turn off the radio in the car or resist the urge to read a
magazine in the checkout line.
Easy Green Wedding
Weddings are typically exercises of excess. On top of the exorbitant
budget and details, the average wedding of 150 people produces 600 to
800 pounds of waste. With an average of 2 million weddings a year in
the United States, the amount of wasted knick-knacks, centerpieces and
displays sitting in landfills is astronomical–and devastating to Mother
Earth. When you start planning your big day, consider opting for a few
green elements to do your part for the planet. In addition to helping
the environment, green weddings can cost up to 40 percent less than
your average extravagant ceremony. Kate Harrison, author of The Green
Bride Guide, says, “You can have a luxurious wedding, save a ton of
money and decrease your impact on the environment by borrowing, renting
or purchasing pre-owned items.” Need to know how? The eight following
tips will make your wedding day green and easy:
1 Wear a pre-owned dress. The first step to going green might begin
with your wardrobe. Jennifer Bernstein, who married her husband, Scott,
in July 2007, found her A-lined beaded dream dress from
an20Oregon-based nonprofit called Brides Against Breast Cancer, which
sells thousands of new and used wedding gowns to raise money for breast
cancer research. Bernstein says, “My dress was recycled; I bought my
veil off of craigslist!”
Mireya Navarro, author of Green Wedding: Planning Your Eco-Friendly
Celebration, adds, “For my book I interviewed brides who didn’t want to
spend thousands of dollars on a dress they’d never wear again. One
borrowed a Vera Wang gown from a friend, and others bought second-hand
from vintage stores.” Also go online and see what you can find on
auction sites like www.ebay.com or wedding recycling cyberstops like www.bravobride.com.
If the thought of a pre-owned dress makes you queasy, consider wearing
a frock made of environmentally friendly fabrics like hemp. Hemp not
your thing? Buy something special, then donate it to charity so it gets
some use after your big day.
2 Consider a vintage ring. Popping on a pre-owned rock cuts down on
waste while distancing you from the blood diamond controversy
surrounding jewels mined in war-torn African countries. If you’re more
new school, Alex Lluch, president of WeddingSolutions.com, says, “You
can have an old piece of jewelry melted down and made into a new ring,”
or “buy a new conflict-free diamond from a certified dealer.”
3 Acquaint yourself with E-vite. Save trees and paper by going digital.
Judy Allen, author of Your Stress-Free Wedding Planner, says, “Use
your20wedding Web site to invite guests, receive RSVPs and to thank
wedding guests.” If you’re more traditional, simply use the Web to
alert guests to wedding-related events such as bachelor or bachelorette
parties, bridal showers and rehearsal dinners. For the actual wedding
invitations, “use organic or soy ink on recycled paper,” Lluch says,
“and choose paper alternatives such as bamboo, hemp, banana stalks or
even cotton.”
4 Pick a central location. You may want to have an ultimate destination
wedding in Ibiza, but the carbon dioxide emissions from the plane
travel alone are not good for the ozone layer! “With friends and
families so dispersed these days, it is important to pick a location
that is convenient for the majority of your guests,” Harrison says.
“Not only will it decrease their travel costs (for which they will be
grateful), but it will also decrease the carbon footprint of your
event.” Do your relatives a favor and have your bash at a local church,
museum or public garden. Save the snazzy tropical locale for your
honeymoon.
5 Keep it small. If you truly want to reduce waste, maybe you shouldn’t
invite all your long-lost cousins and aunties. “The easiest way to keep
emissions and effects on the environment low is to have 20 guests
instead of 200,” Lluch says. Though it might be difficult, consult with
your future husband and see where you can trim the guest list. Once
you’re set, have your wed
ding and reception in the same place to avoid wasting energy and
natural resources on transportation.
6 Take it outside. If you plan your nuptials during a bright gorgeous
day, it’s most likely cheaper and more energy efficient to take the fun
into the sun. “With an outdoor wedding, you can utilize the natural
beauty of the site–and have fewer wasteful decorations,” Lluch says.
You’ll also save electricity on lights and air conditioning.
7 Go organic. If your whole menu can’t be organic, opt for one or two
organic items. “Ask your caterer about including a few seasonal,
organic elements in your menu,” Harrison says. “For the cake, see which
vendors are willing to substitute organic flour, sugar, eggs and milk
(all of which are easy to get at most large supermarkets).” Also look
into organic wine or beer, recycled napkins and table linens, and
organic bug spray.
8 Donate. Give any uneaten food to a local homeless shelter, and offer
your wedding décor to a community organization, nursing home or
hospital. Opt for potted plants as centerpieces and offer them to
guests as lasting wedding favors. They’ll be constant reminders of your
gorgeous green day.
–Claire Sulmers
Seven Essential Makeup Brushes
overwhelmed by the sheer number of choices. Which should I choose, and
what’s the best way to care for them?
a lot of foundation like sponges do. Choose a wide, flat, tapered,
firm brush.
flat brush allows you to apply concealer evenly under eyes and
camouflage dark spots and blemishes.
loose or pressed powder over your face for a light even finish.
either flat or fluffy bristles. Flat is good for applying dense color
on eyelids, and fluffy is designed for blending color and applying
sheer color to eyelids, creases and under brows.
eyeliner. It’s also great for filling in brows with powder.
point so you can apply lip color precisely and blend lip liner.
bristles. Then soap with a small amount of brush cleanser or a gentle
shampoo. Rinse bristles under warm water, taking care not to get the
base or handle wet. Gently press water out of bristles, reshape, then
lay flat on a towel to dry. If you buy quality brushes and care for
them properly, they should last several years.
Film: American Violet
deciding to fight the system after getting caught up in an unfair drug
sweep of her projects is an incredible story in and of itself. But it’s
daunting that a recent Julliard graduate, Nicole Beharie, is portraying
this woman in a big screen release as her first leading role. Beharie
takes on the part of Dee Roberts, who has to decide whether to try to
stay with her daughters by pleading guilty to a weak drug dealer
charge, even though she had no prior drug arrests and no drugs were
found on the premises.
couldn’t believe it happened to her. I remember calling my manager and
telling him that if they don’t want me for that character then I’ll
play whatever else is available.
been in one other major film before this one, what was the most
challenging part of portraying this role?
crew, the local hires all had experienced some kind of loss. I feel
like the connection between the real story we were telling and being in
an environment where that is the experience, where everyone is feeling
kind of disenfranchised, taught me what it means to have to move on and
to navigate this life that we’re living.
great deal about the prison system, especially as it relates to
African-American women. When you find out exactly how the quota system
works and how so many people just plead guilty because they think they
have no other options, it’s just unbelievable.
might think twice about what they are going through and not be
judgmental. I still speak to and text the real Dee. She has a hard time
in the real world getting jobs. I wish other people could also me
et Dee and be encouraged to be courageous, confident, and step outside
the box like she did. Now her daughters have someone to look up to.
Real Green
smart. What was green just days ago wasn’t green at all, but shadow.
Here in Earth’s sweaty womb, such torrid heat acts only as incubation
for life. Cylindrical towers climb above the forest, level upon level
of natural wood wall and floor. The Ariaú Amazon Towers eco-hotel–some
30 miles outside Manaus, Brazil–makes a last stand against the (nearly)
impenetrable beyond.
Bernardino, Ph.D., opened Ariaú in 1987, inspired by French scientist
and ecologist Jacques Cousteau, whom he met when the legendary
explorer’s team studied the Amazon forest in the early 1980s. Ritta
built the towers to both protect and defend the fragile woodlands–at
first only accommodating four suites. It is now the world’s largest
treetop hotel with 268 rooms connected via a catwalk trail of more than
five miles.
definition of ecotourism, a form of responsible travel that both
conserves the environment and improves the well-being of indigenous
people. The International Ecotourism Society reports that about 13
percent of 18.6 million outbound leisure travelers in the United States
are eco-tourists. And who can blame them when the reward is the
graceful curve of Rio Amazonas on its 3,969-mile trek t
o the Atlantic Ocean, the scamper of Simia sciureus (squirrel monkeys)
playing audacious games on 70-foot-tall wooden catwalks, the beauty of
the fauna and flora of the igapós (flooded forest)?
here, where the black waters of Rio Negro and the smoky clay current of
Rio Solimões run side by side for miles, but never converge. Autazes
Amazonian Cruises offers a day trip to the meeting of rivers. The yacht
speeds across the murky waters as guests sip caipirinhas, the
sugar-lime-rum national drink of Brazil. Clouds form high and dark
above the river as the boat passes natural walls of brawny rock. The
channels meet in a quiet symphony of curves and lines, a bizarre tango
of waters.
board a rickety craft as evening falls silent and heavy. Caiman come
out at night. The crocodilian reptile can be spotted in the calm
Amazonian waters at dusk. The water’s acidity provides natural mosquito
control as the voyage sets out amid flashlights and oars. The creatures
are magnificent specimens. Frozen by battery-powered light,
almond-shaped eyes gleam and pointed teeth glimmer seductively. The
caiman is a dangerous and captivating creature.
assails in blistering evening hours. Eco-explorers retire to the
tower’s austere rooms with minimal furnishings; there are no TVs, phon
es or iPod chargers. Sound moves freely through the wooden walls. A
family puts the kiddos to bed. The sounds of night forcefully descend.
Two and a half million insect species beckon from outside. Travelers
drift to torrential dreams.
the Amazonian canopy. The catwalk leads to the thickly netted dining
room, fortified to keep out insects and conniving monkeys. Breakfast
includes assorted natural juices from the loins of the opaque Amazon
and succulent Brazilian fruits–goiaba (guava), maracujá (passion fruit)
and mamão (papaya). Just outside, patioed hammocks provide perfect
opportunity for post-breakfast reverie. A monkey fingers nimbly through
a forgotten purse. It tips over, and the monkey is gone.
into the deeply azure waters of the Rio Negro and stop at an aged and
wooden swimming platform in the river’s center surrounded by weightless
ripples. Here live pink river dolphins, lured to surface by the guide’s
ready supply of fresh-water fish. Legend says the dolphins are
shapeshifters, impregnating young girls at night only to return to the
river at daybreak. It isn’t hard to imagine. These mammals are
deceptively forthcoming–all silk and elegance and grace; nevertheless,
sharp dolphin teeth keep fingers and toes at bay.
cache, the indomitable forest, waits. Trekkers snake along a trodden jungle
trail through the palatable heat. Brush crunches underfoot, and a bird
shrieks into the thick and humid air. The guide describes the formation
of the Amazon Basin, its innate fragility and the urgent need for
preservation. In fact, the Brazilian government stands firm for forest
conservation; deforestation fell 60 percent between 2004 and 2007. The
state has strengthened environmental sanctions, curbed unsustainable
logging and established dozens of monitoring and enforcement operations.
Ariaú Amazon Towers–and numerous other eco-resorts–to familiarize
generations of travelers with this emerald and moist broadleaf forest
(more than 60 percent of which lies within the Brazilian border) and
offer employment for indigenous ethnic groups. Sinuous native dances
highlight moonlight meals at Ariaú, and eco-tourists visit native homes
and learn the basin’s ancient agricultural secrets. The guides are
natives, as are housekeepers, cooks, groundsmen and boat crews.
heart of this stifling jungle is feigned. The silent sting of
perspiration, the drone of dense and fertile forest and the strong hand
of a native guide remind you that you’ve never experienced anything so
real.
– Jessie States
Second Time Around Love
an entirely different experience than my first trip down the aisle at
the tender age of 24. Back then I thought I knew what I was doing. I
didn’t. Thought I knew what I was getting. I didn’t. Thought I knew
what I needed. I didn’t. By the time I finally accepted the fact that
my first marriage was broken–after two children, three rounds of
marital counseling and countless efforts over more than a decade to fix
the unfixable–I was disillusioned, unhappy and doubtful about my
future.
clicked mentally, establishing an easy, comfortable rapport like
nothing I’d ever experienced. I met Earl after a red-eye flight from
Los Angeles to New Jersey. He walked up to me at the baggage carousel
at Newark International Airport and asked if I was an author and if
we’d met at Book Expo, a national book conference.
a come-on. As it turns out, I had, in fact, just returned from Book
Expo, where I was promoting my first book. Moreover, a trusted
associate had referred me to Earl, advising me that he owned a
book-consulting company and could help me in my efforts. So even though
I answered, “No, we’ve never met,” I was pleasantly surprised when he
extended his hand and introduced himself. I replied: Oh! You’re Earl
Cox!” and then proceeded to explain our common associate.
business acumen and his creativity. But most of all, I was struck by
his beautiful way of expressing himself–a communication style that both
commands respect and also lets you know he’s really listening.
driving me home, the first and only time in my life I’d taken a ride
from a stranger. Ironically, “home” at that time was the house I shared
with my soon-to-be ex-husband. My former spouse assumed, as he often
did, that I would catch a cab from the airport. That was 2003.
business relationship grew into a wonderful friendship, and that
blossomed into the loving, lifelong partnership we now enjoy. My
marriage this time, simply put, is a blessing.
time around that we picked a lucky date to get married: 7-7-7 (July 7,
2007).
passionate lovers and always each other’s biggest champions. He is the
best friend I’ve ever had, the first person I want to share good and
bad news with and my=2
0most trusted confidante. I’m constantly amazed at the level of
intimacy that comes with each passing year. Nothing makes me happier
than to see him happy. His joy is my joy, his pain and worries my own.
hesitate to open my car door or lay down the law when the kids act up.
But at the same time, he’s very progressive, tolerant and open,
particularly when it comes to supporting me as a wife, mother and
career woman. He does more than his fair share in our household and
thinks nothing of making the kids lunch for school, handling the
laundry or taking our 2-year-old, Alexis, to the dentist or doctor.
the everyday actions which show your partner how much he or she is
cherished. This time, I know my marriage will last forever because I
knew full well what I needed. Earl puts me at the center of his
universe and he’s at the center of mine. We travel together. We work
hard together. And we get in a healthy mix of fun time and pleasure.
pleasure,” working together has strengthened our lives. As a result, we
find it hard to be apart. In the rare case I take a business trip
without Earl, he makes a point to be at the airport waiting for
me. < /div>
flight, there was Earl as usual. Only this time, he had all three of
our kids in tow, pajamas and all. I later heard Earl joke with a friend
about the episode: “Needless to say,” he said to his buddy, “I always
pick up Lynnette.”
