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Ambi
Get Unstuck
stranded on a mound o
f snow, you can relate–at least physically–to the frustration and
helplessness of being in a rut. Spin tires forward and you go nowhere.
Thrust gears into reverse and you get the same result. Until a tow
truck plays cavalry to your damsel in distress, there’s plenty of time
to reflect on how you wound up in the present predicament. In our much
more complex and much less metaphoric lives, however, getting out of a
stuck place isn’t as swift. Life, unlike a broken down car, won’t
always give us obvious indicators that it’s in need of repair. You just
stall.
may not be built into the tight schedules we balance. So the routine of
just getting by can quickly and quietly become second nature. “Most
women fall into ruts because we embrace more than we probably should be
taking on,” says Nashawn Turner, founder of Uniquely Designed Coaching
LLC, a Virginia-based life coaching business. “So when we get
overwhelmed, we find ourselves trying to do whatever’s easiest and move
in the direction that causes us to develop bad habits.” The robotic
motions of commuting to work, coming home, cooking dinner, helping with
homework and going to bed just to do it all over again the next day may
seem harmless albeit humdrum. In actuality, it traps sisters into
joyless existences with lack of purpose and passion.
stuck place is another. Turner suggests implementing these six steps
for rocking out of a rut and re-engaging in life.
living free from your regular routine. Understand that it’s your life
and you can choose how you want to experience it.
place and then find out what’s causing you to stay stuck. “There’s a
familiar saying: What you resist will persist,” Turner says. Deal with
issues that have kept you in a stale, unsatisfying and predictable
life, and affirm that you will no longer miss out on enjoying it. “I
tell all of my clients change begins with a decision,” Turner says.
“Only you can say when enough is enough of the same old-same old.”
Write a list of things you want to add or subtract from your life.
Establish little changes to get immediate results so you can feel and
see you’re moving forward.
Books and workshops may assist you. Rally family and friends–or make
new acquaintances–to help fuel your change.
your thoughts, words and20actions because these are what establish your
behaviors and routine,” Turner says. “We get into ruts based on how we
think about things. We keep speaking and thinking those things, and our
actions are manifested in that way.” When you find yourself falling
into old habits, ask why you’re doing it. That thoughtful moment will
enable you to make an alternative choice.
vision board that reflects your new way of life with empowering
pictures and phrases, and then post it where you can see it every day.
Before bed, Turner says, “write down what you did differently and ask
yourself how close you actually got to living out your change.”
operating from a stuck place isn’t so effortless, either. It can take a
while to dig into a rut, so expecting an overnight turnaround is surely
a setup for disappointment. Being active in the process of change and
recognizing that a new day is another opportunity to make it happen is
better than beating yourself up for not accomplishing the goals you set
the day before. Sometimes just starting the car and putting your foot
on the accelerator is all the catalyst you need.
--Janelle Harris
giveaway
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Inside the February Issue of Heart and Soul Magazine
You’ll love the love stories in our February/March issue. We’ve got
love-at-first-sight love, love-the-second-time-around love, love across
the ages, love on the job and even presidential love. Also learn the
moves to the best total-body workout and the steps to take to protect
your identity. Find out common myths about depression and the good news
about heart disease. Get back on track financially and getaway to a
romantic inn…all in the February/March issue of Heart & Soul, on
newsstands now!
2008 Cover Model Contest Winner Sonya Lowery
Kendra Lee, Executive Editor
Kendra Lee, Heart & Soul’s executive editor, has been a professional editor and writer for two decades. An award-winning writer and editor, Lee has provided editorial services on a wide variety of printed materials for clients such as the AFL-CIO, National Medical Association, Black Entertainment Television, LEXIS, the Health Resources Services Administration and the Office of Minority Health. She has been both a staff editor (Heart & Soul, YSB and Urbane magazines) and a contributing editor (The Crisis, Upscale and Soul of Virginia magazines).
In addition, her writing has appeared in national and regional magazines and web sites, as well as in association publications. Lee is also an accomplished business writer, having produced collateral materials for clients such as Choice Hotels International, the National Coalition Building Institute and the American Lung Association. She has been a public affairs officer for the Federal Emergency Management Agency, where she coordinated the
Agency’s radio network on a number of national disasters.
Lee is a contributing writer to four books (Like a Natural Woman, One Hand in My Pocket, Dr. Ro’s Ten Secrets to Livin’ Healthy, Tomorrow Begins Today: African American Women As We Age), and she is currently at work on a young adult novel and a book about surviving heartbreak.
